dating guide logo

Single Men and Women - Email Advice When Online Dating

There are lots of alleged 'self help' guides for single girls and guys in search of a partner available today but some of the most important points bear repeating.

If you think you are unattractive and pathetic then that's the way you will come across to others. You can't expect any woman or man to take you on in that state and rebuild your confidence - you need to do that for yourself. Stop moping around, moaning that you're single. Get positive and you'll soon find yourself a partner. There is one thing that single men can do without really being aware that they're doing it and that's pestering. Once you've registered with an online dating agency and you've sent a few single girls messages and they haven't responded for an hour don't keep sending new messages every hour on the hour! If you pester them you'll never get a response - not a polite one anyway.

Register free now and search for single men or women with Pearmatch.co.uk!

Write one message per person and make sure it's a good one and leave it at that. If you haven't heard after about a week there's no harm in sending another one through just to ask if they received it - you could attach a copy of your first one. If you still haven't heard then they're either not interested or aren't picking up their e-mail. Assume that's an end of that contact and move on to the next. They may contact you later but if they've been away on holiday or on business they're not going to be impressed to see their whole 'inbox' full of messages from you. They'll probably think you're a bit weird and you won't get to go out with them anyway! Avoid the trap that many singles can fall in to - appearing desperate!

Remember, your contact doesn't know you from Adam. She's only got your profile to go on and any message that you sent her. So don't talk about anything of a sexual nature, don't whinge about your ex, don't try to push too hard or try forcing her into giving away personal information before she's ready - you'll only frighten her off. Some online matchmakers give their users a function so that they can block any further messages from a certain user. Make sure you're not on the receiving of a 'blocking' by being sensitive and considerate. That's a lot of don'ts for the guys. The do's are much shorter - do be interested in her, do be open, do be polite and do make it clear that you're quite happy to answer questions that she might have for you. Of course you can ask her questions too but try not to make it a job interview and make it clear that she doesn't have to answer anything that she doesn't feel comfortable with.

All the above applies to women too. For women - don't make jokes about men in general and how awful they are - you'll come across as 'just been dumped.' Oh, and do always try to get a response back to a guy in a reasonable time. It might be a 'thanks, but no thanks' message but at least he knows where he stands and shouldn't bother you again.

Next - I don't have my own PC for internet computer dating - can I use my work machine?